How to Last Longer in Bed for Men

Masturbating beforehand, wearing condoms to reduce sensitivity, using numbing sprays or lubes, switching positions when you’re getting close, and slowing down your pace. Some experts recommend cock rings to help maintain control.

For lasting results, most experts point to Kegel exercises. Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles gives you real control over when you finish.

Edging (stopping yourself right before climax during masturbation) trains your body to recognize the signs and pull back. A lot of the advice emphasizes staying relaxed and getting out of your head, since anxiety makes the problem worse.

When it comes to sexual performance, one concern comes up more than any other in therapy rooms, online forums, and bedroom conversations: how to last longer in bed. It’s a topic that affects millions of men worldwide, yet it’s often shrouded in embarrassment and misinformation.

The truth is, premature ejaculation is incredibly common. According to urologist Dr. Thomas J. Walsh from the University of Washington, “Premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life.” You’re not alone in this struggle, and more importantly, there are proven solutions.

Jessica O’Reilly (Sex With Dr Jess)

Recommends a 6-step course involving mindfulness practices, intentional masturbation, pelvic floor exercises, cognitive-behavioral adjustments, and sex education. Practice mindful masturbation by touching your entire body for 10-20 minutes without focusing on orgasm, and experiment with different breathing patterns.

Diana Wiley (Dear Dr Diana)

Says performance anxiety releases stress hormones that worsen the problem. Talk openly with your partner. It’s a couple’s problem, not just yours. Cultivate a playful attitude and don’t take it too seriously. Sex isn’t a job or task to complete.

Edwina Caito (Bedbible)

Three main tactics: Go slow by prolonging foreplay and starting with less-exciting positions. Use erection rings at the base of the penis to create stronger erections and delay ejaculation. Practice with masturbation earlier in the day, and try Fleshlights made for stamina training combined with penis pumps.

Megan Fleming (Great Life Great Sex)

Focus on mindfulness and being in the moment. The foundation of arousal is relaxation. Most men come to her office with performance anxiety from being too focused on giving their partner pleasure, which gets them in their heads and inhibits their own arousal.

Nina Rubin (After Defeat)

Wait longer to have intercourse. Consider massage, experimenting with kinks, oral sex, and manual stimulation. There are many sexual activities beyond penetration that bring pleasure and prolong the experience.

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Dainis Graveris (Sexual Alpha)

Stop bad masturbation habits and porn use. Get fit and improve cardiovascular health. Cut drinking, smoking, and junk food. Do Kegel exercises by stopping urine flow for 5-10 seconds.

Practice edging and the stop-start technique. During sex, switch positions, mix things up, and don’t be afraid to use sex toys.

Anya Laeta (Sf Sex Coaching)

To last longer with a partner, learn to last longer alone. Many men train themselves to finish within minutes while masturbating. Allow yourself to take your time, breathe, relax during solo sex, and become comfortable with edging.

Dr. Teralyn Sell

Three steps: Seek medical advice to rule out underlying conditions. Evaluate pornography use as it impacts sexual health. Get out of your head by using breathing and mindfulness techniques instead of worrying about lasting long enough.

Maj Wismann (Web Sexolog)

Focus on mastery of your excitement and arousal. Learn your body’s signals through practice. When you master your signals, you can slow down, move focus to your partner, and drag out ejaculation.

Audrey Hope

Men must take a new inner approach to sex and relax. Bodies need proper communication, not just pressure to perform. Learn self-esteem instead of trying to prove yourself. Have sex because you want to please another and share divine experiences.

Alma Ramirez-Acosta (Vibio)

Spend more time pleasuring your partner at the beginning to even out arousal levels. Combine breathwork and edging for long-term results. Practice getting to the point before climax, stop, take deep breaths, and repeat. It’s as much a mental exercise as a physical one.

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Sameera Sullivan

Remove the stigma and stop getting in your head. Practice makes perfect. Use foreplay, try thicker condoms, and practice stopping before ejaculation. Expand your definition of sex beyond just vaginal intercourse. Mix things up and be curious.

Sonya Schwartz (Her Norm)

Keep exploring different positions. Switching positions helps you prolong it by giving your penis time to rest and calm down between changes. This prevents reaching climax instantly while adding excitement and preventing boredom.

Tyler Dårlig Ulv (Bad Wolf)

Reframe how you approach sex. If you cum quickly, can you cum again in 30-40 minutes? Stretch your session across that span and focus on your partner while recharging. Lose the idea that there’s a “right” duration for sex—it’s a myth from sitcoms and porn.

Raffi Bilek (Baltimore Therapy Center)

Focus your attention on your partner’s pleasure. Make sure they’re enjoying what you’re doing. The more focus you put on your partner, the less focus you’ll have on your own sensations, and the longer you’ll be able to last.

Jordan D’Nelle Jones

Experiment with edging and orgasm control. Get close to orgasm, then back down without allowing yourself to orgasm. Keep repeating until you’re ready. This helps you have more intense orgasms and can be done solo or partnered.

Dr. Betsy Greenleaf (Greenleaf Be Well)

Strengthen pelvic floor muscles, which give the ability to enjoy sexual activity, lengthen sexual response, and increase orgasm intensity. Do Kegel exercises by tightening the muscles used to hold in urine for a count of 10, then relax. Also, try “quick flicks”. Tighten and relax 10 times quickly.

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Dr. Robin Buckley

Focus on your partner’s pleasure rather than your own. Concentrate on feedback from your partner’s reactions and adjust technique accordingly. Discover or learn one new thing about your partner’s sexual response each time you’re intimate. This distraction helps you stay engaged longer.

Sureya Leonara

Lasting longer is about the quality of presence, breath, and relaxation. Don’t think of something else. Tune into how your sexual energy is moving. Slow, deep belly breathing calms the nervous system and spreads pleasure throughout the body, supporting greater stamina and multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms.

Dr. Stephanie Buehler (Learn Sex Therapy)

Learn to relax and tune in to your physical sensations and your partner’s needs. Hyper-focusing on lasting longer causes you to lose connection with your entire body and partner. Practice regular deep breathing to calm the body and mind, then use breath to regulate during sex.

Rebecca Blanton (Love Letters To A Unicorn)

Question the motivation behind wanting to last longer. If you and your partner enjoy the current duration, there’s no need to increase it. For many with vaginas, penetration alone won’t lead to climax—they need clitoral stimulation. Your climax doesn’t need to signal the end; use mouth, fingers, and toys to continue.

Amanda Lambros

Understanding why you’re in a relationship and whether sexual stamina matters to you is first. If it’s important, seek help from a sexologist to learn bedroom skills. If it’s non-negotiable and you can’t collaborate on preferences, move on.

Erin Dierickx (Erin D Therapy)

Use Stop-Start and Squeeze techniques. Stimulate the penis until close to ejaculating, then pause or squeeze to build tolerance. Take turns pleasuring each other to heighten enjoyment and stay present. Get on the bottom—men have more control over ejaculation when on the bottom rather than the top.

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Lachlan Brown (Hack Spirit)

Combine mental and physical techniques. Physically: pelvic floor exercises, a healthy diet, and reducing red meat. Mentally: take things slow and appreciate every inch of your lover instead of going straight to the main course. The journey counts more than the destination.

Renée Mayne

Change the way you view sex. We forget the depth and fun in the middle by focusing only on foreplay and orgasm. Subconsciously, we want to get to orgasm quickly, but we need to slow down and come back to breath. Relax muscles rather than contracting them.

James Kelly (Ed Clinics)

Premature ejaculation can be a problem for men with erectile dysfunction. Speak to your doctor about ED first, as it can be a symptom of cardiovascular disease or diabetes.

Pelvic floor exercises train muscles that keep blood in the penis, making maintaining an erection and delaying ejaculation easier.

Dr. Laura Meihofer

Two exercises: First, practice tightening pelvic floor muscles and taking slow, deep breaths outside the bedroom. Second, become familiar with your arousal spectrum (0-10 scale). During sex, aim to stay around 6-8. When approaching 7-9, change positions, rhythm, or stimulation style to bring it back down.

Stephanie Wijkstrom (Counseling and Wellness Center)

You don’t need 30-minute sex sessions. Women take up to 20 minutes to reach orgasm, but men can orgasm in 2-5 minutes. Bridge this gap with more foreplay—20 minutes of foreplay is worth 5 minutes of penetrative sex.

Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (Luvbites)

Use sexual mindfulness and tantric sex practices like sensual meditation and edging. Use guided meditation and touch for sensual meditation without pursuing an erection. Edging is stopping when about to cum and repeating. These practices help you last longer.

Shari James

Most men start with anxiety and end with “oops.” The problem is a lack of education and training. Slow down during self-pleasure and combine masturbation with meditation by breathing deeply into your belly. Shift context from “getting off” to preparing to be an amazing lover.

READ: Four Types of Check-Ins Every Relationship Needs (and Why They’re Essential)

Carrie Leaf

Try shifting from physical experience to a spiritual level and the connection between partners. Be truly present and notice details of your partner’s experience rather than your own. When there’s connection between partners, it’s an entirely different experience.

Dr. Joe Kort

Eight tips: Masturbate hours before sex. Use Trojan Extended Pleasure condoms. Try edging. Slow down and pleasure partner first. Squeeze the penis head for 10-20 seconds if ready to ejaculate. Try penis sleeves. Use the reverse cowgirl position. Use Trojan’s benzocaine delay spray.

Indigo Stray Conger (Choosing Therapy)

Practice lasting longer on your own, especially if you masturbate to climax quickly. Stimulate yourself, then pause multiple times at high excitation points. Learn to extend the period of excitation before release through edging or orgasm control.

Amanda Pasciucco (Life Coaching and Therapy)

Notice the difference between penetrating a mouth, vagina, or anus versus a hand or sex toy. Solo sex is different than partnered sex. Be mindful and switch up hand techniques. Don’t be ashamed to wear a condom—it helps many men last longer.

Andrew Aaron (Help For Passion)

Confident men who know their feelings can relax and enjoy an emotional connection, and will have greater success. Eliminate anxiety and internal pressure to perform.

Talk to your partner. Stay out of your head by shifting attention away from the most arousing sensations to less arousing activities like caressing or kissing.

Rachel Sommer (My Sex Toy)

Train your pelvic floor muscles with Kegel exercises. Strengthen the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles that help control ejaculation. Tighten muscles between the penis and rectum, hold for 3 seconds, release for 3 seconds. Repeat at least 10 reps daily. Combine with switching positions and edging.

Samantha Moss (Romantific)

Take it slow—ask partner to slow down, giving time to stimulate and delay ejaculation. Change positions to take breaks and cool down; switch to positions that don’t penetrate as deeply. Talk to your partner—being open improves intimacy and helps them understand your desire to last longer.

READ: How To Talk To My Child About Sex

Sarah Rose Bright

Most men contract their bodies during arousal, which doesn’t help. Put attention on relaxing and enjoying pleasure in the moment rather than focusing on lasting longer. Men can relax into pleasure without ejaculating more quickly. Be mindful of breath—take slower, fuller breaths and make a sound.

Kate Sloan (Girly Juice)

Take a break and do something else. Most people with vulvas don’t reach climax from penetration alone anyway. Stop what you’re doing and give your partner oral sex, or use your hands instead.

Michelle Devani (Love Devani)

Seek help from your spouse. Using a condom helps as it serves as a barrier, lessening the risk of orgasm. Use the pause-squeeze method. Have sex until about to finish, pull out, and squeeze the penis head until the urge subsides. Avoid aggressive thrusting; try positions that limit your movements.

April Maccario (Ask April)

Seek assistance from your partner to understand frustrations. Do pelvic floor exercises—if the muscles are too weak, delaying ejaculation is more difficult. Do the slower pace. Slow down, take frequent breaks, and start with lesser-exciting positions before more stimulating ones.

Nikolina Jeric (2Date4Love)

Practice Kegel exercises to build pelvic floor muscles. Try the cowgirl position, where women control pace and thrust, allowing you to delay orgasm. Practice masturbating earlier in the day before sex, using Fleshlights made for stamina training, penis pumps, and erection rings combined.

Jackie Golob (Shameless Therapy)

Seek out a sex therapist. They’ll help with realistic expectations, correct mythology, incorporate reading materials, change thoughts related to erection anxiety, teach anxiety reduction techniques, improve communication skills, and expand sexual repertoire. Check if there’s something medical going on—30% of sexual disorders are medical, 70% mental.

READ: 5 Big Relationship Expectations All Couples Need To Talk About

Marsha Jackson (Foxtail)

Consider that foreplay allows extending sexual activity. Incorporate oral sex or manual stimulation if penetrative sex won’t last long enough for both partners to orgasm.

Do pelvic floor exercises to strengthen muscles supporting the bladder and facilitating ejaculation. Medications like SSRIs can help when other options have failed.

Dr. William Kolbe Jr.

Start with “know yourself” (Socrates). Explore erogenous zones, engage in sexual arousal, gauge sexual energy, and practice edging orgasms. Getting to the orgasm threshold without passing over to spasm and ejaculation. Practice sensate focus (mindfulness) and mindful masturbation to generate and sustain different levels of sexual pleasure.

Joel Flynn (Gentleman Zone)

Train your pelvic floor muscles through Kegel exercises. A series of contraction and release sequences that train sexual strength and ejaculation control. Complex sports like swimming also benefit durability and stamina. Aim for at least a month of training to see results.

Carmel Jones (The Big Fling)

Increase the amount of foreplay to lengthen the sexual experience as a whole, even if it doesn’t keep you from ejaculating sooner. Masturbate before sex. It works better for older men. If you masturbate less than an hour before sex, you’ll last longer as your body will be in the refractory period.

Rose Collette Aston (London Tantric)

Harness your sexual energy by developing awareness of physical and mental triggers that lead to orgasm. Through tantric massage with a professional masseuse, learn how to channel sexual energies to access pleasures without finishing before your partner. Acquire greater control of body and mind.

Lacie Mae Gabor

Purchase thicker condoms to decrease sensitivity. Wait until your partner is begging for sex before insertion. She’ll be close to orgasm due to high arousal. Use less stimulating foreplay and positions. Work on your mind game. Men who can distract themselves and decrease arousal last longer.

Paul J Hunter (Cork Hypnosis Clinic)

Improve your level of self-love and self-esteem. Sex can become like a judgment if you wonder if you’re good enough. When you spot a reaction that’s less than expected and have self-esteem problems, you can self-criticize and negatively impact performance. Confidence and self-belief are key.

Robert Thomas (Sextopedia)

Remove pressure on yourself—being anxious about lasting long makes you orgasm quicker. Go into sex with a relaxed, confident mindset. Try edging while masturbating. Be aware of how close to orgasm you are and stop right before. Transfer this to actual sex by stopping when about to orgasm and switching to oral or changing positions.

You can read the full article here: How To Last Longer In Bed for Men | 50 Sex Experts

Focusing on foreplay can reduce the pressure of penetrative sex and improve sexual satisfaction. Techniques such as experimenting with sex positions, sex toys, and mindful attention to your partner’s pleasure help men enjoy sex without worrying about finishing too fast.

Exploring the sweet spot during sexual activity, combining masturbation practice, and engaging in sexual stimulation before intercourse can naturally enhance staying power and last longer in bed. Foreplay also strengthens the pelvic muscles needed for control, improving overall sexual health.

At least 30% of men experience premature ejaculation (PE) at some point in time. Premature ejaculation (PE) is typically defined as ejaculating sooner than desired during sexual intercourse, often in a few seconds or much quicker than the average time men expect.

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According to the National Institute of Health, men who experience premature ejaculation may struggle to last longer in bed, which can affect sexual satisfaction and overall sex life.

PE can occur even when a man wants to prolong penetrative sex, and it doesn’t always indicate sexual dysfunction. Recognizing when ejaculation happens too fast is the first step toward better control and enhanced sexual performance.

Lifestyle modifications such as eating a healthy diet and maintaining a healthy weight can help with both PE and ED.

Performance anxiety can make men stop, start naturally, or ejaculate prematurely. Focusing excessively on your penis, orgasm, or urge during sex increases sensitivity and decreases muscle group coordination in the pelvic floor.

Anxiety triggers a cycle where men struggle to delay ejaculation, affecting both their sex life and their partner’s pleasure. Practicing techniques such as the stop-start method, the squeeze technique, and pelvic floor exercises can help reduce sensitivity, enhance sexual stamina, and regain control in bed.

Addressing depression or mental health issues alongside therapy further supports lasting longer during sexual intercourse.

Healthy habits like regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and maintaining blood flow are essential for sexual performance. Strengthening the pelvic floor and muscles through Kegel exercises or pelvic floor exercises improves erectile function and control.

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Adequate cardiovascular fitness can increase staying power during sex, while avoiding substances that impair sexual health reduces the risk of erectile dysfunction. Men can also incorporate muscle group training to boost penis function and enhance sexual activity.

Consistent practice, medication when needed, and attention to diet can help men last longer naturally and enjoy sexual satisfaction with both you and your partner in bed.