In the interview, relationship strategist and clinical psychologist Dr. Robin Buckley discusses how couples can reignite connection and emotional closeness in a marriage that has become stagnant.
Her core idea is that meaningful relationships often benefit when treated with the same thought and structure usually reserved for business or organisational strategy.
She outlines five key practices couples can adopt:
Intentionality
Rather than letting the relationship drift, couples should purposefully decide how they show up for each other. Simple routines like check‑ins or set meetings help deepen connection.
Prevention
Instead of waiting for problems to erupt, couples should identify recurring patterns or threats (e.g., communication breakdowns, emotional distance) and build mechanisms (much like risk management) that keep them aligned before a crisis hits.
Communicate like co‑founders
Viewing the relationship as a partnership akin to business helps: giving and receiving feedback, aligning on roles, talking openly about intimacy and needs, rather than reacting defensively or in isolation.
Shared vision & mission
Couples are encouraged to create a “vision statement” (what their relationship stands for / where they want it to go) and a “mission statement” (how they’ll show up day‑to‑day). This builds alignment, identity as a team, and shared purpose.
Value acknowledgement
Consistently appreciating your partner’s contributions, both big and small, fosters respect, connection, and loyalty—much like positive feedback in an organisation nurtures morale.
Buckley emphasizes that these aren’t one‑off “date‑night” fixes but should become embedded habits and systems: monthly meetings, daily undistracted check‑ins, shared metrics (e.g., how often you’ve had meaningful connections), and genuine appreciation.
Her core thesis: love doesn’t just “happen”. It often needs strategy, structure, and consistent action.
You can read the full interview with Dr. Robin Buckley on how to rekindle marital love here: Falling In Love Again With Your Spouse.
Intentionality: Spending Quality Time to Rekindle Love
To rekindle romance in a marriage, couples must spend quality time together, whether it’s a date night, a weekend getaway, or just alone time at home. Simple practices like leaving a sweet note, sharing a meal, or planning activities help rebuild trust and deepen connection.
Spending time intentionally creates a sense of fun, passion, and joy, reminding both partners of the excitement and love from the wedding day and the early days of their relationship.
READ: How to Create A Business Plan for Your Relationship: An interview with Dayo Akinrinade
Communication and Partnership: Align Like Co-Founders
Viewing the relationship as a partnership encourages honest conversations about intimacy, sex, and emotional needs. Couples should talk, listen, and align expectations, much like business partners.
Regular check-ins help couples focus on the future, recognize each other’s efforts, and maintain connection. This approach nurtures desire, fosters romance, and ensures both the husband and wife feel heard and appreciated, creating a sense of teamwork and commitment in their married life.
Shared Vision and Value Acknowledgement: Rekindle Love for Life
Creating a shared vision & mission allows couples to plan for meaningful moments, date, and watch for opportunities to surprise each other.
Recognizing small acts and celebrating milestones like anniversaries, dinner together, or family achievements, including kids, helps rekindle emotional intimacy and spark more fun and joy in everyday life.
Expressing interest, offering grace, and praying or reflecting together strengthen connection and intimacy, reminding partners that love is an ongoing effort worth investing in forever. This demonstrates the importance of appreciating your spouse and the person they are.
READ: Strategies For Your Love Life: Interview With Dr. Robin Buckley
By writing notes, acknowledging special signs, or taking time to imagine new experiences together, couples can develop a stronger, more exciting bond that withstands decades and challenging times.
It also helps them move forward from lost moments or difficult times, making one thing clear: love requires effort from the beginning and throughout the world of shared life.
